Mandatory/Mainstream Year End Post

Bye 2014!

 

You have been a good year for me

I wouldn't have asked for more

There had been some bizzare incidents/accidents boggling the world

Given that I am not a frequent news reader

I shall not pretend to talk about current issues

Nor will I say I will pray for the world or lost souls

The media is doing a better job

 

Just a time of reflection

Or sumarizing my 2014

Not that I am any superstitious

But I really observe something:

Whenever a year contains a digit 4 in it

Many great things will happen on me

Call them blessings or just pure luck, if you wish

 

Let me just start from my final semester in uni

I was greeted by the best set of results in the beginning of the year

FYP continued to go smooth though laborous

Fixed up some major mess in my relationship

I am more respected and appreciated

I was panicking about job hunting but called up by 2 companies in the end

1 could not accept me as they needed someone who could work asap

Another 1, to my relieve, accepted me after weeks of waiting for the interview outcome

Decent job, decent pay (at least for my major)

Final exam was over and it was time to chill at home

although I have only a month left before working

Communication with dad was still bad

Results were out, not exactly excellent but I was thrilled by the A for my FYP

Back to Singapore, staying in an ex-friend's house

Attended my convocation but not really excited

Because I didn't see graduation as a big thing in life

Just a Bachelor degree cert anyway...

Got some opportunity to try cooking

Realized that I indeed have some flair in culinary

Things didn't go well with the ex-friend aka ex-landlord

Went roon hunting and found one that could make-do

Moving from one room to another

Easily settled down in the new place, a very convenient location to anyway I would go

Working...working..working

Went for a Batam tour

Jay's Concert!! A fantastic experience to finally see him sing live

Jay's new album's out and to my surprise, he proved that he is still the Mando-pop King

Signed up as NLB member

Picked up reading fictions as a passtime

3rd-anniversary buffet dinner at Kuishinbo

Received a beautiful branded watch as present

Upgraded my bags and facial products (Some $$ lost/invested)

Guess that's all the highlights for my 2014

 

2014 was a turning point in my life

From a student to a working person

Much to learn much to improve

in all aspects of my life

But I am glad there were some major achievements in 2014

 

Looking forward to 2015

for the overseas holiday trips planned

also for some achievement in my first job

and forget not for a better relationship with everyone dear in my life

 

Bye 2014!

Carpe Diem-Ep 1

Living my life NOW!!

There are a few things in my Bucket List that I swear I need to accomplish when I still can, when I am young and free.

The 1st item in the list-- ATTENDING JAY CHOU'S CONCERT

That was something I'd be very excited to do in my teenage year but I knew I had parental constraint and study obligations on my way. It's not something a typical 'good' student would do. His songs are, I'd say, fountain of memories of my teenage years. They are meaningful to me, regardless of what others think.

I always picture myself being among the crowd of Jay's fans, cheering and singing along while he performed on his magnificent stage with amazing visual audio effects whenever I read about news about his concert. Although I stop listening to his new songs nowadays, my dream of attending concert for at least once in my life never dies away.

I was just so lucky to happen to chat with my colleague over lunch just a few week ago and know that he would like to return his Jay's concert ticket or sell it to anyone who wanted it. Then, I was thinking, since I could attend Jay's concert in Singapore (what a convenient location) and I've now have my own saving, why not fulfill my dream? I wouldn't be happier attending pop concert of others because I only knew Jay's song the most (like more than 50 song lyrics by heart). So why hesitate over the opportunity? I'd buy the ticket and go!!

I'm very happy not really because of a concert, but that I could finally begin to know what I like and how to make myself happy. It's still not too late. There're many more dreams to be made come true :)

Just felt like doing this all over again!

Random Quiz about myself (for myself)

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

Goldfish, whale, fish. Fish, of course

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?

Don's have a specific one

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?

Sometimes, when I'm bored in meeting or training

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

Drain myself out, haha

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it?

2 or 3, Maybe?

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away?

I save recent ones

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know?

What's a pack rat?

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost?

Second choice

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be?

Smell. Would give up touch

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

5?

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

I believed that I could reenter into the dream scene i wanted to

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?

Oh i shan't tell!!

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

Jo

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections?

Rarely.Online news.Not sure

15. Which animals scare you most? Why?

Lizard. Ewww!!!

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

The latter haha

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured?

I'm full of ideas in Arts

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?

I wish I could have a better temper, haha

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain.

Ya, it's hard to change a habit which I picked up since young. 

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain.

My face, yes. I spam money on skincare products

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?

Back in JC??

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why?

Yes. Because I only initiate conversation or keep in touch with those whom I feel like

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others?

Build my own empire, of course

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone?

I don't remember as of now

25. What do you think about more than anything else?

When can I be rich?

26. What’s something that amazes you?

People with superb time management who can juggle well with many aspects in their lives

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why?

As stupid as it sounds, I prefer ppl to package their words before uttering to me

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest?

LOL, shopping malls is my only choice.

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why?

My work? Cz i'm lazy?

30. Do you have a catchphrase?

Not that I could think of

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them?

I'm neutral as long as the person don't question or criticise about mine

32. How and where do you prefer to study?

Oh, I would have gone to the UK or US, given a second chance.

33. What position do you sleep in?

Sideway, with bolster for sure

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?

Penang. That's my hometown

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?

Honesty, humbleness, understanding

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

To a very large extend

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?

Bad physical appearance

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?

None (those that i intended to restore had been restored, those that didn't, I couldn't bother much)

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

Anything starting with C

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not?

Yes! So that I can be happier

41. What do you consider unforgivable?

Breach of trust

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?

Yes, because no one can be there for me 24/7 except myself

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

Oh, very difficult.

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for?

Not sure

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain.

Until he/she proves that he/she is trustworthy

46. In what area of your life are you immature?

Character

47. What was the best news you ever received?

I have many good ones, none is best, all is good

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?

Not too hard

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first?

N.A. for the first section. No for the second one

50. When do you find yourself singing?

When no one is around

About challenging myself to facing you...

Hi bloggie (Attn: not-weak-one),

Hey, so I finally had the courage to meet you face to face in the karaoke session. I invited you out, together with other old friends for a hangout and I had to say that this time, I have really overcome the obstacles that I created in my head and heart. I can finally see you, feeling euphoric yet no more uneasy and shy.

The memories with you in the past have their sweet and sour portions but they will never be complete without all the unhappy events. I've learnt to cherish the happy moments we had and accept all the not-so-good pictures without giving too much thought about them.Whatever happened in the past stays in the past. There is no use looking back or even searching for the questions left untapped., for we were once too young to even comprehend what we actually wanted for ourselves, let alone each other. We were innocent and we made mistakes. There was unrequited love from my side but it's not that bad afterall. What more shall I demand? Despite all the bumpy events in our teenage days, our friendship has never been jeopadised! It's not like some other people, they cannot even be friends after the confession from one side. This, our strong friendship, is every reason to be happy when I see you again now and then.

Furthermore, I actually had a very colourful teenage stage with your presence. I experimented love on you for the first time of my life and I learnt a lot from that *Ops!!*. That helps me in my current relationship. Anyway, I just wanted to say I have come to appreciate you in my life. I will still feel excited seeing you after so many years and I know that there's no need to feel inappropriate or even guilty. I should just let joy envelope me, what's wrong with being happy in the presence of a childhood friend who coloured my early life? I know that I am no longer in love with you, so I didn't betray my current boyfriend.

I am actually thankful for the wonderful days in the past. Those are reasons to be happy. Thank you for letting go my silliness and the friendship we are still having =) No more feeling bad listening to Jay Chou's songs. This is yet another achievement unlocked in my personal development. =)

It's always good to be home

Hi bloggie,

I have always told others that the reason i like to be back is not because of the place I stay or the delicious food that others associate this place to. I love coming back because of the people, their company and understanding. It is here that I can be my true self and there is nothing to hide from the people whom I love and love me. I am most comfortable in this state because I know that I do not have to earn others' love and compassion. Here, I have loyal family and childhood friends.

I had a sisterly session with two of my buddies today at one of their houses. We had dinner and a catch-up session, talking mainly about relationships. We had new confessions and share dark secrets as though we were in some underground meeting. Anyway, we felt so happy and we cherished each other's company because we know that no matter how ugly our personal secrets might be, nothing affects our friendships because they were based on trust and love. We only want each other to live a happy and healthy life.

The happy session was also made complete with the presence of my friend's puffy guinea pig and this new beverage that we ought to try out:

Not bad to me, at least it didn't taste bitter like beer. But my friend thought raspberry reminded her of cough syrup. Well, no one is exactly the same but we have long learnt the value of embracing differences among us =)

Dream

Hi bloggie,

I had a very scary dream yesterday night. I dreamt of myself forgetting the deadline of my thesis submission (30 May) on the next day. The forgetfulness was due to the fact that I skipped school for 3 days since 28 May. I was in total disbelief and panic on 31 May because I knew that late submission would result in a grade lower than what I actually got. I woke up a few times in the night due to panic attack and took a few seconds to realise that I had already submitted by thesis in April long before I came back home. Yet the same dream repeated everytime i went back to sleep. The cycle continued till the midday.

Do I just refuse to write my journal based on my thesis? I think so...

I am back.in.one.piece =)

Hi bloggie,

I have some good news:

I came back home but I am no more who I was. I am glad I completed my 4 years of studies without letting the stress cooked me up. I am happy that I am happier than I was, just a year ago. I am thrilled that I am now able to love myself more and set my mind along the right path. I am grateful that I can better manage my emotions and life. I thank God for all mercies that He has shown me.

While I was feeling that my life was in order, I am glad that again, I am challenged to become a happier person. It's the funny feeling that I don't know how to describe whenever I bump into you. It is neither sadness nor jealousy, neither heartache nor hatred. All I know is that you have really left a big impact in my life and this is a fact. Nothing changes that.

But this time, I am motivated to find a cure to this uneasiness. I know I have to manage this in order to be with you without feeling awkward.

Oh well, why am I writing about this? I admit that sometimes I am searching for meaningless answers because I don't even know what is the root cause of all these hassles. Ah! I should get some quality sleep and do something more productive. Chaos!!