I almost forgot the existence of this space
if I didn't crack my head to find a place to express more privately
So here I am again
And this time
I think I am in a kind of state
I would call
'happily troubled'
I think I fell for someone
Or maybe it is just a crush, I'm not so sure
But these I am certain
I am beyond happy chatting with him everyday
My heart flutters at the sight of the chat notification on my phone
His name, x message(s) received
I'd grin so widely as if I've won a grand lottery
I'd feel so euphoric, so elated
just knowing that we are in contact
even before reading what he writes
A simple 'Hi' would instantly light up my day
I could not remember when I last felt so happy everyday because of someone
I could not fathom the reasons I look forward to chat with him
or hear his voice over the phone
I'd think of him most of the time no matter what I am doing
I wish that I could see him in my dream every night when we bid each other good night
I feel so motivated and energised to be a better person
to improve all my flaws
just so that when we meet each other again
I will be at my best state
in all aspects
But I am well aware
that we are most likely not going to be together
He told me that he liked me
but there was no point establishing a long distance relationship
And I have to endure the heartache everytime someone teases him
with another girl
It certainly feels awful in this kind of situation
I have came across a saying,
"Parting is all we need to know of hell"
I knew this no better than anyone
the night you gripped and shook my hand so hard
the very last moment I laid my eyes on you
before we each flew back to where we were
Right after that, I went back to my hotel room
and cried like a baby
I could not remember when was the last time I wept so hard
Tears were not shed for just a mere sad feeling for leaving a friend
It was then, I realised that I could not help but
develop a fond feeling for you
I don't expect any romantic outcome between the both of us
I will just enjoy the ecstasy of chatting/talking with you while it lasts
And I think our story is beautiful
And you will always
'Exist in my mind, my dream, my heart and my song'
Our song, forever and always
~~★ Two is better than one ★~~
